Saturday, November 07, 2015

Dalton: On Relationships

Much ado is usually made about new relationships; throughout the grid there are people bound and determined to keep score ... to assess "victories" and "defeats" ... to point fingers and whisper about what they perceive to be the truth when it comes to how and why a relationship ended.

I don't profess to be a "relationship expert" ... in fact, I'm far from it. Oh, I'm sure that at some point and time I have been critical, judgmental, etc. etc. ... but by and large, I do try to maintain diplomacy when referring to others and the situations involving them. I believe people should be able to express how they feel, of course. But the fact is that when people are hurt or confused, they may say things that are uncharacteristic of them.

Why do we hurt others? Do we do it intentionally, or is it a by-product of a relationship that is lacking something? I don't have the answers. I can only speak for myself. I don't like it when other people get hurt ... and I certainly don't like being on the receiving end of hurt. Nonetheless, through my time in Second Life, I've been on both ends of the spectrum.

In eight days I will celebrate my first Rez Day. As I reflect back upon this first year inworld, faces and memories are there. So much has changed since those early days when Second Life was new and overwhelming, yet I don't think I would change a thing. I've met some fantastic people ... had my share of heartaches ... burned a few bridges, sad to say ... and have managed to still be filled with wonder when I consider all of the creativity to be enjoyed inworld.

I've decided that if I am to remain inworld for another year of "virtual reality," the emphasis is going to be on smiles and laughter ... good times ... and the acknowledgment that I cannot change the past. Which brings me to Ziggy. I met Ziggy in early May of 2015; at the time, we were both living at Pacific Coast. I'd never actually "met" Ziggy ... this didn't come until some time down the road. At first, we exchanged a few pleasantries and went on our merry ways; Ziggy was in a relationship at the time, and I was not. He struck me as a nice guy, but we didn't socialize. I spent a lot of time at my place, shopping on Marketplace and licking my most recent relationship wounds.

A lot has happened since May; some good and some bad, as is the usual course of life in whichever world -- virtual and/or real. I've loved and lost, and so has Ziggy. I've hurt and been hurt, and so has Ziggy. And now here we are. I'm finding that Ziggy is every bit the nice guy that I knew he was when I first met him. Only now I get to spend time with him and enjoy his company. And he seems to enjoy my company ... imagine that.

What have I learned? More of what I already knew ... kindness is what we should strive for. And if we fail, we should keep trying. There will always be people there trying to hurt us; the trick is to learn from the experiences and emerge relatively unscathed. To anyone I've hurt: I am sorry. To all who have hurt me: I forgive you. Tomorrow is a new day.


Carl said...

Nice post Dalton. Let me wish you a happy 1st rezday

Dalton Cole said...

Thank you!