Monday, July 18, 2011
Sometimes an avatar needs a break, sometimes an avatar gets horny, sometimes an avatar wants to fuck...
There I was minding my own beezwax, snorting some pixilated cocaine off the back of some gorgeous hunks hand when I felt an adrenaline rush so strong and so overwhelming that i felt i needed to get some..er...exercise!
I decided to do a power walk for some much needed fresh air and (s)exercise so i put on a pair of very skimpy, faded denim shorts, ripped off my shirt and walked out the door. I bit my lower lip as I walked past all the bars and bath houses because today it was going to be all about health and not hot, casual sex with, hairy, beefy chested avatar men all leering and touching themselves as I slid past their gauntlets of unsavory lust!
I breathed a sigh of relief when I made it to the corner and headed for the local park. I was already dripping in sweat and thought to myself, hmmmm great workout so far....
A head of me lay a deep dark forest with a beautiful nature trail made of fresh wood chips that filled the air with an aroma of cedar. I headed into the woods with aerobics on my mind and a head spinning with hallucinations that something was following me.
I barely made it 4 feet into the underbrush when it dawned on me that the bushes were moving all around me and the smell of man pheromones permeated the air. the birds stopped chirping, chipmunks ran for shelter and crickets silenced their choruses. I felt like Goldilocks surrounded by three big bear men as the bushes parted and i found myself completely and utterly surrounded by huge, lumber jack men all shirtless, sweating with the tightest jeans I ever saw. It was like a cheesy scene from a hot Tom Of Finland picture and i was going to be the helpless victim!
I attempted to run and my brain kept telling me to "just ignore them" but i was set upon and captured and within moments I found myself lashed to a horizontal log on my back in an upward, arched position and being ravaged by nature boys all hell bent on making me their girl scout cookie!
After I was eaten, I managed to break my restraints and flee but not before some very kind, generous man helped me compose myself and clean me up by taking me home and helping me to shower and put on some clean jocks....
The moral of my story is, I guess...if you go into the woods today you're in for a big surprise because that might be the day that the teddy bears have their picnic!